As the president’s official speechwriter I’d like to point out that the president is not offended by the label of “Cockwomble”. This is what he had to say earlier today when Fox News reported that he had indeed been labelled a Cockwomble.
“The definition, given above, of this outstanding word is false news. Very big false news. Very hugely big false news in fact. The term, if you look it up in the official White House dictionary of modern American words, that incidentally I’ve just finished writing….a great great book of wise words…… frankly is actually a compliment. A big and very great, and I must say very apt complement. I’ll break it down for the stoopid journalists among you. “Cock” – well we all know that the cock is in charge of the henhouse. So this just means that I’m the numero uno Rooster in charge of this great great nation…this beautiful and very wonderful land of the free. Numero UNO! As for the second part “Womble” – some people, not all, just the smart ones like me….when I say smart like me of course I actually mean that you wish you were all as smart as me…you wouldn’t believe my IQ if I told you….off the chart…way off…super smart…very super duper smart. But anyway the Wombles were very cute and wonderful creatures on British TV who cleared up other peoples mess ups. Much like I’ve done since taking over the bad…the very bad…the incredible, very bad mess left by Obama. I’ve cleaned up Obama’s mess. Cleaned it right up. I’ve been given China’s mess to clear up, this Chinese virus, started in Wuhan….in CHINA, so it’s a Chinese virus okay. Very deadly, but I’ve defeated it more or less single handed. The WHO and the UN are incompetent and very stupid people. Can’t be trusted. So I’m removing funding. I’ve turned things around again and made America great again…AGAIN. How great? Very very wonderfully super duperly great. Greater than ever actually. It’s an outstanding achievement. Everyone says so. Everyone. All the big, big players say so. America is great, just like Great Uncle Bulgaria of the Wombles was a great great man, that’s why he was Great Uncle….very wise, so very very wise – like me, people come to him with problems and he uses his amazing outstanding wonderful great wisdom to sort things out, so the analogy is quite correct, except of course that I have better hair. God bless America.”
So there you have it Donald Trump, President of the USA and proud to be a Cockwomble.
God help…..I mean God Bless….America.
Again thank you for reading and I’d just like to point out that Great Uncle Bulgaria rejects being compared to Mr Trump……and also rejects Mr Trumps definition of the word Cockwomble.